We sent Lia a care package from home. I’m very happy, that Lia now knows she has a forever family. One who is willing and working very hard to bring her home.
When I began this blog, I wanted it to be a snapshot of our journey to Lia. One we could look back on and remember the good times and the “growing times”. I want this story to be an honest description of our journey. Hoping that others will relate, on a very human level, to our trials and triumphs. So in the spirit of writing the ENTIRE journey down…..
To say I’ve been overwhelmed the past week is an understatement. The kids have been knocked out with H1N1, I’ve been off work without pay, and without going into detail our finances have hit an all time low. I mean when it rains it truly pours. Honestly, it feels like all forces have been against us lately and I’m waiting (not so patiently I’ll admit) for an “easy” uneventful day to present itself.
I remember a quote that said every beautiful flower needs water to grow. If this is true, these have definitely been the “growing times” of our journey. Plenty of tears have been flowing around here. Enough to water an entire flower garden.
Warning… .sugar coating things is not something I’m good so if your looking for a fairytale story STOP……STOP reading right now and move on to one of many other adoption stories much better at sugar coating emotions than I am.
Anyone still reading? If not that’s okay too. Somehow I’ve found it very therapeutic writing all this stuff down. After all this blog is for me to reflect on later *after we get Lia home*. A place for me to look back and say wow I forgot how lost I felt and how I feared this adoption would never happen.
If I’m being honest, I must admit a time or two I’ve let my mind wonder What. Did. I. Get. Myself. Into. Please don’t get me wrong here. I believe, with all my heart, Lia is our daughter. It’s just when times get hard (I mean really hard) I’m only human and if I’m truly being honest, I admit I’ve fancied the idea that it would be much easier to just give up, in the face of all this adversity, than to press on.
I mean how easy would it be to say this mountain was just To. Plain. Hard. for us to climb. If I didn’t lean on my faith trust me this is exactly what I would be doing. Now, more than ever, at this very moment in time I would be saying ENOUGH ALREADY I give up!
Lucky though, I’m a believer of “everything happens for a reason.” So as I begin to wonder why this journey needs to be so difficult, the only conclusion I come up with, is that the Lord wants us to be dependant on Him for everything. So that He and He alone will be glorified when Lia’s adoption is completed.
Look I know some of you reading this think I’m crazy. But truth is without my faith, as mentioned above, I would be giving up at this very moment. I mean if I used “common sense” I would say without a MIRACLE this is never going to happen. But BECAUSE of my faith that is exactly what I’m believing WILL happen.
“faith never denies reality but it leaves room for God to grant a new reality”
~ Jim Cymbala
I pray every day that God would move in the hearts of those who will help bring Lia home and BELIEVE with all my heart, this is his plan and he alone will provide.
So I vow today to push past the all the overwhelming fear, discomfort of being judged, anxiety of admitting we need help and in the midst of chaos find peace in the only place I know. God
Besides I’m a therapist…….we never say never. We don’t just give up! We find a way, a new way if necessary. It’s just how we work. It’s a gift God gave me long ago. Try and if that doesn’t work TRY HARDER. After all silver only becomes strong by pounding on it. I believe the same can be said of faith. Beth Moore once said “he gets us out of our “comfort zone” so we can grow in our faith and trust his plan for us.” Yep, these last few days have definitely been “growing times.”
Oh Amanda, I am so sorry to read about the troubles that are coming your way. Remember they are not flesh and blood, it's a spiritual war my friend. What you and Jason are doing (bringing a homeless child into your home/trusting and being hopeful through Christ)...The evil one hates it all and will work so hard to break you. KEEP looking to Jesus. He will make this all possible if it's His perfect will. TRUST! TRUST! TRUST!
ReplyDeleteLove ya and I am here for you!
:) Yep crying again! Thank you, we'll pray for each other. I think you trials are much greater than my own but you and I will get through this if it's the last thing we do.
ReplyDeleteDear Amanda,I have been waiting for this post. You are fighting a good fight against darkness against principalities....I know the money is such a big deal.Our dau.adopted from Vietnam was blind and all I worried about with her was the money to get her home!God healed her eyes and provided the money as well. Her eyes were healed way before the awful money was there though.God is moving... hang on to I Thes. 5:24 Do not ever give up. You are right it is easier to quit. But your reward will be a smile and a kiss from that beautiful little face... I will not quit praying... you are being placed in the center of God's will...
ReplyDeleteEvening Amanda - well - you sure covered some ground today! 1st - props on getting the home study done in such quick time!! As for common sense and adoption - hey - as a 3rd timer here - common sense has NOTHING to do with it! What adult in their right mind would put themselves through what we go through for the pleasure of a lifetime committment to someone who (through no fault of their own) is going to have some serious needs! It's called being a parent and loving - and it's all good!
ReplyDeleteHang tough - remember that none of us are doing this alone!
hugs - aus and co.