Sown in My Heart

About three to four months ago I had the feeling that something big was going to happen. I didn't know at the time what it was I just knew the Lord was preparing my heart.

Actually with our track record I was expecting the worst illness, death, or something I couldn't even wrap my mind around. Looking for guidance, I got back into my bible and started reading, praying and reading some more. This is the story of our Journey in HIM...........

When reading I kept coming back to the same parable.
Luke 8 4-15

The Parable of the Sower

4While a large crowd was gathering and people were coming to Jesus from town after town, he told this parable: 5"A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds of the air ate it up. 6Some fell on rock, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture. 7Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. 8Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown." 8When he said this, he called out, "He who has ears to hear, let him hear."
9His disciples asked him what this parable meant. 10He said, "The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of God has been given to you, but to others I speak in parables, so that,
"'though seeing, they may not see;
though hearing, they may not understand.'
11"This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. 12Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. 13Those on the rock are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. 14The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life's worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. 15But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.

Throughout my life I seem to come back to this same parable and each time it means something different to me. When looking at it today I realize that if I am to follow the Lord I must TRUST the HE will provide. Being a planner this is difficult for me because at this time I have NO PLAN.

My conversation with him went something like this.....Are you kidding me God, NOW no seriously....are you sure we can do this?? If this is your will than I will follow, please open the doors and pave the way. But really how can we afford this? I know you will provide......but how, when?? Could you just give me a plan>>> Nope :) .......this is his plan for me not MY PLAN. OK I'll try to be OK with no plan, I'll do my best not to worry.....but if you could just give me a little sign any sign I'm on the right path that would be great! :)

Funny I remember a bible study that taught me he will get us out of our "comfort zone" so that we can grow in our faith and learn to trust HIM alone. We have not a penny in savings and not much more room in our home. Jason and I would love to add to our family and have always wanted to adopt but were waiting for the "right time".

I now realize that it wasn't necessarily the "right time" when I had my other children. Why should this be any different. Unless I let go of my crazy need for a plan I will be "choked" by life's worries. Now more than ever I have to "persevere" in order to grow and make a difference in the life of our future daughter who needs our help.

~Amanda